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Why do toddlers misbehave ?

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Home> Mums Home> Toddlers>  why do toddlers misbehave?

There isn't just one right way to get children to behave themselves. There is no magic wand that can be waved and out pops the perfect child, how you discipline your child will depend on your child's temperament, you and your partners parenting style and the situation you find yourselves in will all influence the methods you use, e.g. a very quiet, timid child may need only gentle guidance where as a more defiant, stubborn child who hates being controlled will probably be more of a challenge, and if you have a similar nature it could be a recipe for fire works.

Avoid yelling, hitting or getting too worked up during episodes when your child misbehaves. This just increases the negative attention that your child receives and reinforces that it is alright to get out of control and be aggressive. Try to remain calm while administering punishment. You should walk away if you feel that you may loose you temper or physically hurt your child. It is very important to use positive discipline and encourage good behaviour through praise; it helps to teach by example. Children learn a lot about how to behave and cope with situations by copying adults, and that usually means you and your partner. It is better to child-proof your home, put valuable, breakable and dangerous objects out of your child's reach this helps to avoid arguments when accidents happen. Where you can and where it is not sending out the wrong messages try to see the funny side of your child's behaviour, a sense of humour is essential when dealing with the challenges of parenting. When you or your partner feels under pressure or there are a lot of other stresses in your life, it can seem harder to cope with a demanding child. It is important to take sometime for yourself and work at ways of keeping stress to a minimum, keep reminding yourself that your child is learning your behaviour and will pick up very quickly that there is a problem so try to keep adult stresses and worries out of their lives as much as you can, not always easy but defiantly worth trying.

You could try these tips:

  • The best form of discipline with toddlers is redirection; give them something else to do. They usually love helping with household chores and generally will readily go and play with another toy.
  • Learn to say no in a calm controlled manner whilst facing your child, it is a good to explain your reasons but do not feel obligated to explain your rationale for the things that you ask of your child every time that you ask something of them. Many parents fall into the trap of explaining the rationale behind all of their requests, usually because they want their child to feel respected. This is time consuming and can lead to arguments and a power struggle at the end of the day you are the parent and what you say goes.
  • Always show a united front do not allow your child to play you off each other, children quickly learn who is a soft touch and use it to their advantage, it is important to make decisions about how you will discipline the child together and then stick to them.
  • Always look for your child's good behaviour and praise it.
  • Try your best to turn a blind eye to minor annoying behaviour and naughtiness and only discipline dangerous or annoying behaviour.
  • Don't expect an angel even the most placid children have to learn. It's normal for toddlers to test your reactions by doing things over and over, even after you've told them not to. This is how they learn what is acceptable and where the limits are.
  • It good to try and remind yourself of how it was to be a child and how unfair the adult world often seemed.
  • Make a routine and try to stick to it, if you change it and you inevitably will tell your child in advance and explain why. This helps your child feel secure and there'll be less need for conflict if your child expects things to happen in a certain way or at a particular time.
  • Set some reasonable boundaries and enforce them together. Children rarely feel secure if they're allowed to do exactly what they want and in many cases they will behave worse to discover what the boundaries are.
  • Keep family rules simple and to a minimum. Young children can't possibly remember too many rules, never mind stick to them.

Try to be realistic; most behaviour parent’s call naughty or disobedient is just a normal part of development. Younger toddlers want to touch everything to find out how it works, when they can't it looses their interest so they drop it. Older toddlers are trying to assert their independence. All of this is normal and to minimise damage you need to think ahead try not to put your child in situations they can't handle and try remove temptation before it is zeroed in on by your toddler, this is especially important in other peoples homes nobody will mind if you say can I’ll just move this I would hate it to get damaged, but you can be sure they will mind if your toddlers takes a fancy to a nice little antique ornament and then smashes it when they see something more exciting.

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